Over-speaking: A Myth or Truth?

All these "words" thrown at us on a daily basis, is it doing more harm than good? Let's talk.

Hear me out. ‘Self love’, ‘overthinking’, ‘toxic’, ‘triggered’, ‘gaslighting’ and now 'over-speaking' are all words that have, over the years, blown out of proportion to be "topics of concern/discussion". It's starting to get exhausting and tiring.

When I first saw a guide on Instagram about two weeks ago on 'How to stop over-speaking' as some sort of rescue pack, I was actually flabbergasted. I almost lost me marbles. I didn't even want to read any further through the thread because why would I want to drag myself into something like that. I thought it must be utter nonsense (no disrespect to the person who collated the slides).

But to me, it sounded like making a problem out of nothing. If people want to over-speak. Let them. If people want to under-speak…yes I made that word up, call the cops (although, I wouldn’t be surprised if it is an actual word). Let them.

If people not want to say anything at all. LET THEM. Did that previous sentence make perfect sense? No it did not. But WHO CARES?!

Please, just let people of this Earth breathe. Let them live. There is no life to live if you keep having to tell people what to do and how to act. All you can do is guide a person but only if there is actual substance to guide that person on.

Yes, I agree you don’t have to voice every single opinion that comes ashore, there’s a time and place for it. I also believe that some thoughts and opinions should really be kept tightly between you and God.

There are also some people who talk more than they should or are genuine, natural-born over-speakers; however we shouldn’t shame them for it.

Ofcourse, I’ve been guilty in the past of succumbing to these “trendy” words because they’re fresh and poppin’, like the new celebs of the Gen-Z dictionary. I thought we finally have all these “words” to encapsulate an emotion or situation.

However, too much is going on now. I don’t know if people are trying to sound more “woke” than they really are, but it’s starting to feel more like an attack than an offering of support and guidance.

See, self love is different. That's character development, I talk about it here. Overthinking, I get to some degree, but again, allow a person to 'overthink' or 'over-speak’ or 'the next over-something word'. Because one can only learn through mistakes. It’s human.

Better yet, I wouldn’t even class it as a “mistake”. It’s all natural human behaviour at the end of the day. It depends on the individual how they want to perceive their thoughts, but again, none of these things are a crime. It’s only when you feel like it’s sabotaging a person’s way of life or your own, that we really then need to take a seat back and deep dive into solving the equations at hand.

It’s all a gradual and steady process though- there is NO rush.

I wouldn't be surprised if the next trend is "over-speaking, ways to overcome it and speak less". No hun or mun (men version of 'hun'), perhaps go on a meditation retreat or something. If someone at work or a close friend/loved one is bothering you because they're “over-speaking” then take them to one side and discuss the issue. It doesn't need to be made into a full blown affair. Really it doesn't.

Could There Be Some Truth To This Than I First Thought?

Funnily enough though, I actually did do a quick google search to see if this really is a legit thing. And to my surprise, it actually is! I saw a post on ‘5 Ways To Stop Overtalking’ on LinkedIn from 2017?! Gobsmacked. The trend started 6 years ago it seems. Clearly I was too busy exploring ways to eat more food (sounds more exciting right?).

Anyhoo, I went in to have a nosey at any comments lurking around (really to see if anyone else was enraged like myself) and all it had was 4 likes. *smug face*

However, what I found more interesting, is the fact that some people do infact over-speak. Not because they want to, but because they have a disorder known as ‘compulsive talking’ or a mental condition called ‘logorrhea’.

INTERLUDE: *At this point my blood pressure resumed back to happier levels, and my brain was thirsty to acquire knowledge.*

Excessive talking or “over-speaking” is also common in people who suffer with anxiety, hyperactivity or ADHD, bipolar disorder, or any other psychological disorder which alters a person’s behavioural characteristics.

Now, this is where, in my opinion, ‘over-speaking’ is acceptable as it’s uncontrollable in these conditions, and it can be discussed because there is a PURPOSE for it.

To summarise in short, when ‘over-speaking’ comes from a place of anxiety, the individual is usually triggered because the feeling they experience comes from deep within which they cannot control, and they are usually unaware that they’re ‘over-speaking’.

Social apprehension can trigger the stress response known as ‘fight or flight’, where cortisol levels and adrenaline levels are raised. A person’s heart rate starts to increase because of this and the body’s immediate reaction is to “fight” the situation at play and “run”. Anxiety starts to build up and the person no longer has the full mental capacity to put together what is happening in the body, and so to compensate for this, a person may unknowingly ‘over-speak’ or behave in the opposite end of the spectrum and shut down.

There are different therapy options to support this condition, such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) - the latter I haven’t heard before but it’s a type of CBT therapy more specific to people who suffer from personality disorders.

It focuses on how to regulate your emotions and control them. More tips can be found here.

All in all, this can be seen as a learning curve. One that maybe God destined to happen, a blessing in disguise perhaps. What started off as a mini rant turned into a valuable teaching lesson, which I am grateful to have learnt. A very interesting psychological topic which I probably would’ve turned into a dissertation if I carried out more research. But this will do for now.

It’s about finding that fine balance between ones thoughts and the danger zone. And I would say to be more mindful, as society trends become more damaging, the truth is starting to become misconstrued and we have to be careful of what is depicted as “woke" news and what is reality.

I hope to anyone who reads this, that you too have pocketed bits of knowledge like myself! Be more supportive and more aware of the signs of this condition before jumping to conclusions. A reminder to myself too.